MOLESTED
Now What?
By Pastor Steve Van Nattan
YOU ASKED....
Dear Steve,
I have been highly impressed
with your site. You have answered soooo many of my questions. It's been like the
answer to my prayers. I do have a problem at this time and I am wondering if you
could be of some help. I am a fairly new Christian, and I struggle with doing
what's right. My mother and I have had a falling out. Her brother molested me
for nine years and a friend of mine that I had told about this told my mother.
She stated that I was mentally disturbed. You see my father and step-father did
the same thing. My
father served time because she believed me but my step-father and my uncle did
not. When she learned of this I realized that nothing would be done, so I decided
not to put myself through any more torment and just kept quiet and we went on
like family still. I eventually got married and went on a trip later with my uncles
mother to my aunt's house. It was on this trip that I told her about her son.
Well it seemed
as if everything would be taken care of. My grandmother and aunt said they believed
me. When we got back home my aunt called to see what had been done about it and
my grandmother told her that I lied and was a trouble maker. So my uncle weaseled
his way out of it again. After
many years of putting on a happy face and going through this Norman Bates nightmare
I became a Christian. My family truly flipped and constantly berated my
husband and me. I finally felt that it was in the best interest to cut all
ties with my family and wrote them all a letter telling them to no longer contact
me. My aunt, who had always believed me, called me up to offer her support, even
though she had gotten a letter too. I soon found out what family I could trust.
She told me that she had just learned that three boys in the family had been molested
by my uncle too. Needless
to say I now felt that no acknowledgement whatsoever would be enough. Especially
after twenty years of denial by my family. These boys were my cousins and had
never told ANYBODY until they learned what he had done to me. My problem is the
fact that I feel that I should be trying to get my family saved. You see we belonged
to the LDS church. ( Mormon ) They feel that they are right with God, but I know
otherwise. So
I'm wondering if breaking all ties with them is wrong. They have been confronted
with the three boys coming forward and all they have to say is, " How come they
never call? " or my grandmother said she planned on suing me. I really could use
your help with this. Thank
you. ANSWER:
What
a sorry experience you have had. I want you to understand something, just in case
you are still dealing with it. God is NOT judging you for any of this. You must
go forward with Christ and your husband and claim victory and the Grace of Jesus
Christ. It is often tempting, when evil is done to us, that we wonder if we somehow
deserved it or caused it. NEVER believe that. It is the trick of too much thinking
and not enough trusting in Jesus. You are washed in the Blood of Jesus Christ
and clothed in His righteousness. Live that! Under
the circumstances, you have NO business going near these perverts. Their soul
is in the hands of God, and He can find someone to bring them the Gospel. They
would only recall the lust they felt long ago if you went near them. They might
very well pretend to be interested in the Gospel in order to try to seduce you
again. My experience with Mormons tells me that you have NO chance to win them,
considering the history. Again, if they are to be born again, your family needs
someone OUTSIDE the loop to confront them with Christ. Also,
you are 100% to do what is pleasing for your husband, and he does not need to
deal with all the stress of filthy old men playing tricks with both of you. Furthermore;
you may have children one day, and those same old filthy men will think they can
do the same to your children. NEVER be a part of your former family with
your children present. You need to understand that Mormon definitions of
morality are stated in sweet tones, but they are practiced in vastly different
ways depending on the Mormons involved. Some Mormon bishops and leaders
do NOT think it is necessary to protect non-Mormons from their most perverted
members, contrary to their sweet words. You may be dealing with demon possessed
people. By the way, there are more and more Fundamental Baptist pastors who will
not protect their people from such wickedness. At no time can we drop our guard
in this sort of thing. I
am glad you have broken off all contact with them. You don't need to hate them
or be bitter, but you must NOT ever feel you owe them one thing in this life.
Pray for them, and leave it at that. Even if they repent and the thing is brought
out in the open and seems to be dealt with, do NOT go around them. You would be
a memorial of their evil works. This would also be very hard for you to deal with.
Straight
ahead with Jesus and the good man God gave you. Philippians
3:13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do,
forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things
which are before,
14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling
of God in Christ Jesus. God
bless as you deal with hard things and seek His holy face through it all.
In Christ,
Steve Van Nattan _______________________ Warning:
If you are in a local church where the pastor is dominating everything and arrogant--
if you are in a local church where children are to be whipped and ordered around
by any older adult-- if your kids are in a Christian school where the pastor administers
spankings to girls himself. Your kids will soon be molested by someone in that
church. It is your choice. Stay and watch your kid destroyed for life, or flee
at once to a local church where the pastor behaves like a shepherd and is attentive
to his leaders. Find a church where the pastor loves little children but does
not have his hands all over them. The
above applies to deacons and leaders in local churches also.
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