Ideal
for Hebrew Roots people. You must keep all the law, and we help you do
it right.
The
official Feces Paddle of the Law Keepers of the world
Painted
dark blue, with a raw hide thong to hook "upon thy weapon", and a Solomonic
gold band around the end of the handle, this is a feces paddle worthy of a king.
The front and back of the spoon have the Old Testament and New Testament teachings
on the doctrine of the feces paddle so that no sincere Law Keeper can miss the
great urgency of carrying one of these sacred instruments.
Someone
will say, "Look here now, the feces paddle was for the days when sanitation
was not as developed as it is now in modern times, so the feces paddle is obsolete."
LIE!
The
point is, the feces paddle is not just to cover "what cometh from thee,"
it is a mark of a faithful Law Keeper. To cast aside even one law of Moses is
to defy the doctrine of salvation by works. If you intend to save yourself by
works, you need to add every possible accouterment of the Old Covenant.
There
is virtually NO other source world wide where you can get your very own feces
paddle to carry with you. This is one of 365 individual Mosaic laws that you
must keep if you are living by Law, not Grace. See Deuteronomy 23:13 on the
paddle below which makes the doctrine of the feces paddle clear.
This
paddle is also very useful to those Christians who live by Grace alone. You can
buy one of these, and give it to your Law keeping friend to show them that they
have failed to keep all the law and are in risk of damnation. This may help them
get out of the Slough of Despond of Law and onto the glorious road to Liberty
by faith in Christ Jesus.
Here
are some people who need a feces paddle:
Seventh
Day Adventists
Seventh
Day Baptists
Hebrew
Roots People
Yawehist
Cult
Fundamental
Baptists who insist on keeping "Baptist Standards"
World
Wide Church of God people
Even
Orthodox Jews may want to buy our feces paddle
This
verse proves that Moses' Law, given by Jehovah God, required every law keeping
Jew to carry a feces paddle. There was NO text in the teachings of Jesus Christ
or the Apostle Paul revoking this law. Thus, any Christian trying to live by
Law, instead of Grace, is bound to obey God and carry a feces paddle.
This
is the New Testament teaching on keeping the Law while trying to live by Faith.
Many believers need to be delivered from the bondage of Law Keeping, and this
paddle will force them to confront their silly devotion to Law and return to
live a life of Liberty in Christ Jesus.
How
will your Law Keeping friends respond when they see your feces paddle?
NO
LONGER AVAILABLE I had so little interest in this that I have dropped the
thing. The point is made clear though.
You
will notice the guy toward the upper left corner who is not rejoicing that
you are a Law Keeper. He is the only idiot in the crowd who is living in
the liberty of Grace.
HELP!
To
our friends.... If someone wants to donate a button machine, we could add a lampoon
Law Keeper's, and a Grace Keeper's, button to wear in the marketplace and to the
church house. These would be great for wearing while walking around at an SDA
or Hebrew Roots event.
SEND
MAIL if you would like to donate a good used button machine.
There
are a lot of other buttons we could add also for wearing on Sundays when the preacher
is doing unbiblical things, like on Faith Promise Sunday and Paycheck Sunday,
and for church business meetings etc. Endless possibilities :-)
NO
LONGER AVAILABLE